Sunday, June 1, 2008

When there's nothing else I can do...

About a week or so ago, Anna, the 15-month old daughter of my musician-church-singing friends, had what turned out to be a malignant tumor removed from her brain. What can one say, do, or even think about such a thing?

It was bad enough when they told me that Anna had had an MRI. I had just had my first MRI for my shoulder--a loud and clanking, but open, MRI that I pretty much fell asleep in, only to wake when the technician told me the the various short segments were over and that I should move. How does a baby manage to have an MRI on her head?

Then I was told that she had had immediate brain surgery to remove the tumor they found. O God. I can't even imagine. There were stories--she was in ICU. She had pulled her IV out. She cried when anyone came in to futz with her stent. Her father had to hold her down while they took care of stitches. I can't fathom it.

Then the tumor is malignant.

Last Sunday when the priest told us during the service about Anna, our final hymn was "Joyful, Joyful Lord, we adore thee." You know, Beethoven's Ode to Joy--a hymn sung at our wedding. Well, this time, I could not sing it--just cried and processed down the aisle out of the church.

Anna is, thankfully, home now, but is facing monthly chemo treatments.

So, what can I do? Not much other than keeping Anna and her parents in my thoughts and prayers, and well, knit. Knit and hope that these little nothings will bring her and her parents a tiny bit of comfort in the months to come and know that I'm thinking of them.

Pattern: Adorabubble Sun Hat
Yarn: Sirdar Pure Cotton DK--about 90 yards.

Yarn enabler: Knit-a-Way, about 5 years ago.
Needles: Size 4 Knitpicks Harmony Circulars
Time I spent knitting this: a day.

Pattern: Cupcake Baby Hat

Pattern for the Flower: Crochet Picot Flower

Yarn: Sirdar Pure Cotton DK--about 65 yards.
Yarn enabler: Knit-a-Way, about 5 years ago.

Needles: Size 4 Knitpicks Harmony Circulars

Time I spent knitting this: a day.


Annie said...

How devastating. She's the same age as Cashew. The hats are very sweet and I am sure the recipient will love them.

limonene said...

Oh, that's completely heartbreaking. My feelings about cancer are not fit for a family blog. I think the hats will be a comfort, as will knowing that they're in your prayers.

Eliza said...

oh, how awful. It makes you think so much about life and how unfair and unpredictable it is. (One of my parents' friends collapsed and died last night, so this is really on my mind right now.)

The hats are adorable, and I'm sure they will appreciate them. (Dare I add a congratulations for using old yarn??)

cricket said...

what a lovely way to show you are thinking of them. i have goosebumps......i pray she is well.